Money, Vulnerability, & Limits

Posted by in Discovering Me, How to change your life, Midlife Misadventures coping with midlife crisis, Transformation, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Vulnerability and MoneyWho knew that at 50 I would be looking at my financial picture through the lens of a single income earner. I certainly didn’t. I can tell you it is a different view. There’s no fall back income, no one to share the decisions with, all at a point where you’re supposed to have it all figured out.


Financial decisions have a different weight after fifty. Retirement looms as an actual possibility rather than an idea existing in the wispy land of far far away. The college costs of kids (if you have them) have eaten away at your net worth. The job market is narrower and more limited, alas ageism is alive and well.


There is of course an up side. There is no one to argue with over what to spend where. (for me this translates into guiltless shoe purchases)The pressure of being the sole provider steps up my game. I’m taking risks in a more calculated way and consciously choosing where to invest my money. But best of all vacation costs are cut in half.


One of the biggest surprises that came up for me was my story about money. It is the background noise that runs pretty consistently. I thought I would simply adjust my lifestyle, cut a few corners, and earn a little more to balance things out and WaLa things would be right as rain. Not so true…..It was kinda crazy the things that came up – my money set point, the beliefs about wealth and wealth accumulation, the ideas about the ‘right’ way to earn money. All those limiting beliefs that were in many ways counterbalanced by my ex came up front and center.


I discovered that I’m exceptionally good at generating money for other people. One of the kids needs a new computer, my ex wanting a motorcycle, my grandsons tuition. Easy for me, I just set my intention, tuned in, and took action. It worked every single time.


Not so for myself. Even in the writing of this I’m getting a little squirmy, I pause at this point because the story in my head says polite people don’t talk about money. And in this moment there it is another limiting belief to untangle. Another layer to look at.


For now this is enough, maybe there’s something for you to mull over until next week , I’ll share one of the tools I use to help me untangle. I would  love to hear  your thoughts in the comments  below.



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