How Mixed Messages are Slowing You Down.

Posted by in Body, Mind, Spirit | 1 comment

stepping stone path      It’s intangible, slippery even but yet so highly sought after. People will pay for the promise of it. It’s often an underlying feature of many advertisements. It’s the underpinning of the choices we make.   ‘It’ is clarity. In an attempt to gain it we ask others for opinions, we procrastinate, we worry about the wrong choice. Often thinking If I just knew what the right thing to do was- it would be easy.


The thing is, really, you do know, you’ve just forgotten how to decipher it. One of the first things I work on with a new client is the concept of values. I get some eye rolling and grumbles over this sometimes, yet almost everyone has a shift when they do this exercise.


A value is something you inherently gravitate towards, it’s triggered from within, not by external stimuli. It can be a behavior, an activity, or a preference that you are naturally attracted to. It’s a come from; a way of being that is inherent to you.

Values differ from person to person and can be confused with wants or needs, as some of the same things can be a want or a need. Here are some tips for discerning if it’s a value, a want, or a need.

If there’s urgency it’s probably a need.

If there’s a craving, a sense of yearning, or desire it’s probably a want.

If it’s an internal inherent pull, a natural tendency toward it,  it’s probably a value.


Identifying your values can help you to discern your best choice in any given situation, allowing more flow and ease as you outwardly express your inner values.

The first step is to determine your top 3 – 5 values either from the list below or from your own experience.

Begin by centering yourself; close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths, then read through the list and crossing out all of the word that you do not resonate with.

Next add any words that come up for you that are not on the list. Now read through your updated list and circle all of the words that that feel good to you.

Take a break for at least a few minutes then go through all of the circled words and check each one against the need, want, value litmus test(described above).

Repeat until you have narrowed it down to your top three to five values.


Adventure                Love                    Facilitate               Feel Good

Experiment              Encourage            Learn                    Discover

Accomplish              Enlighten             Teach                    Be Amused

Lead                         Rule                      Inspire                  Influence

Be the best               Support                 Set Standards       Be Connected

Be part of family      Be Devoted          Attain                   Be part of a community

Nurture                     Model                   Serve                    Foster

Create Beauty           Energize               Contribute            Embody Elegance

Improve                    Stimulate              Be Original           Learn

Feel                           Coach                   Spark                    Thrill

Alter                          Build                    Plan                      Be Passionate

Unite                          Realize                Provide                 Express Tenderness

Win                            Have Fun             Observe               Speculation


Here are some ideas to use your  values to support you.


  • Consciously use your values as a filter for your choices in the next few days.
  • Keep your top values written on an index card or paper with you and when you’re faced with a choice ask yourself: Does this honor any of my values? How can I allow my values to show up here?
  • Look for ways you are expressing(or not) your values in your everyday life. If nurturing is a value – How is that showing up in what you do?  Is it a healthy balance  for you? Are you both giving and receiving nurturing?  How could you increase nurturing in everyday life?

As you do this, notice the shift in how you’re choosing and making decisions as well as the results of those decisions. Listen to see if a pattern is emerging and how that might inform your Soul Path journey.

This helps you set up a natural filter for expressing your values in everyday life which leads to increased authenticity, improved alignment with integrity, new opportunities and greater ease.

Share one ( or all ) of your top values  in the comment section below.

1 Comment

  1. Conscious focus on values as an everyday filter…interesting! Thanks

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: