Avoid These 2 Things That Drain Your Happiness

Posted by in Body, Mind, Spirit, Discovering Me, How to change your life, How to Find Happiness, Inspired Soul Heros Journey, Midlife Misadventures coping with midlife crisis | 0 comments

teacupfrillyWhen is the last time your really dug deep and examined yourself from the inside out? What makes you light up and come alive?

How much of that is present in your everyday life? What do you want- not surface that would be nice want- but deeply crave?

Is that what the business, stuff, and distractions are hiding?

Do you think you can have more of that thing you so deeply crave/ Or does it feel crazy, out of reach and impossible, well at least for you.

Whats the truth underneath it all?

In this world full of chaos, turmoil, and unrest all of us are acutely aware that we have big problems that need to be addressed. Ones that are not easily solved.

I believe at the core of these problems is a deep sense of unhappiness and unworthiness. Each of us wants to belong, to love, and be loved. When you look at others and perceive them to be different there is a sense of separation and that can be scary. To close the gap or ease this fear the two things that are most often done:

  1. Change something in yourself to mirror the other person in an effort to close the gap.
  2. Diminish or make wrong the thing you perceive as different as a way of pushing away and creating distance.

Either way resistance is created. In the first example there is a disconnect with your authentic self as you try to mold to someone elses values. The second example there is friction is in the form pushing away. A widening of the gap causing a bigger disconnect that fuels fear.

You only have the ability to change yourself. Being secure in who you are, what you want, and what your values are helps open the door to connection. Each one of us has both positive and negative elements in our personality.

In any given moment you are doing your best, even if from the outside it doesn’t look that way. When you’re truly comfortable in who you are there is far less attachment to what others do and what others think. It certainly has less of an impact on you.

In order to be of service in a healthy way you must be secure in who you are as an individual. If you aren’t firmly grounded in who you are you look to get your needs met in ways that do not serve you or the other person.

35243719_sThe Solar Plexus Chakra can be helpful in giving you a foundation to lean into. The third chakra is steeped in personal power and confidence. Tapping into this can help you stay true to who you are with out feeling the need to push away or embrace what is not aligned with you.

This why self care is so important. It’s how you fill your cup.When your cup is full it’s far easier to look for common ground, ways that you are like the other person. This bridges the gap and creates connection, something we all crave.

Think of it this way – if  your neighbor comes over to borrow a cup of sugar and you don’t have any you don’t give any. The same is true of your time and energy. If your cup is empty there is nothing to give.

How do you fill your cup?




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