Big Changes, Transformations, and Midlife Crisis (part 2 of 2)
I listened to a podcast last year (try as I might I can not remember which one it was) the woman being interviewed was researcher who studies women and desire. She talked about women being wired for connection. It’s basically in our DNA to create community. This is proven out time and again with foreign aid donations women have a much higher likelihood do what is best for the family or community.
What really fascinated me was that her research showed that a woman’s greatest vulnerability is autonomy. This struck me very deeply as a truth.
In my own process of sorting through what my next chapter would be I had the yo–yo effect of stay – no – go – no – stay and most of it centered around how my actions would effect everyone else, my ex, my family, friends, clients, and colleagues. It wasn’t until I began to focus on what I truly wanted that clarity and certainty started to bubble up.
Peeling back the layers of what others wanted and expected and what I truly wanted took some time, some work and a lot of self-exploration. It was scary, exhilarating, fun, sad, and enlightening.
There is a lot to be said on this subject and this article touches the surface only. Change is uncertain whether it’s a change in job, a change in relationship, living situation, or health. The unknown can be scary and intimidating. The innate urge to foster connection and community can make it even more difficult to get to the core of what the right choice for you is.
Looking back here are the top 3 things that helped me:
Learn to trust yourself – sounds silly but the truth is for most of us we’ve been thinking of other peoples needs for so long we’ve turned the volume down on our own wants and desires. Trusting that the pull I was feeling was to nourish my soul and each step in that direction was a celebration
Feel what you need to feel– It’s messy and uncomfortable and absolutely necessary. And , specifically for women we need to know – anger is okay; really it is , there are healthy ways to express it. Bottling it up, squashing it down, and pretending it doesn’t exist is a recipe for unhappiness, health issues, and staying stuck.
Know you are not alone millions of women reach crossroads and choose where they want to go, finding their unique path.
I believe in you.
I believe in your deepest dream.
I believe in your amazing possibility.
Today do 1 thing that celebrates that spark inside of you.
Share in the comments below.