4 Things You Must Address With Any Change
Sometimes you cautiously approach.
Sometimes opens the door to something magnificent.
Sometimes she leads you into something that sucks.
She is change. A constant in all of our lives, like it or not. I am mostly in the like it camp because for me it means growth and expansion. I am in the business of change. Midlife is chock full of change- your body, your family, your relationships, your career. All of my clients are in the midst of change. It’s what I help them do. In my immersion in the art of change I have unearthed some truths.
It doesn’t really matter what the change is career, relationship, or environment there are four primary questions that beg to be answered.
- Who am I being?
- Who do I want to be?
- What is it I am here to do?
- What’s really true for me?
Change means moving through the unknown and facing uncertainty. And that’s hard. You have to take a chance. You have to be vulnerable. Your beliefs, stories, and resistance, both conscious and unconscious, pop up vying for attention.
How can you manage all of this? By actively moving through your layers and clearing the way for change.
- Energetic – the vibrational level, invisible, subtle, powerful
- Emotional – feelings, bridge thought, feeling, and action, has a physiological connection
- Mental – thoughts, beliefs, stories,
- Physical – body, actions
Checking in with each layer to see if there is ease or resistance and working through it has direct impact on the effect of change. It helps navigate better timing, reduces fear and uncertainty, creates a fertile ground to grow from, and allows the space for clear choice.
When I was pregnant with my fourth child I had to give up my camry, a car I loved. It simply wasn’t big enough to fit my growing family. I put the purchase off because I was very resistant to driving a mini van. I thought it was so cookie cutter soccer mom, clunky, and no stick shift. As my due date got closer my husband went out and traded my car for a full size astro van. I was not a happy woman. It needed to be done. He was trying to help. I hated the van(except the fabulous sound system). I traded it for a smaller mini van six months later, at a loss. I needed to work through my resistance rather than ignoring it. It was a lesson in resisting change that I paid for in dollars and emotional upheaval.
Had I taken the time to work through the layers I would have uncovered that the van represented my fear of loss of identity, loss of freedom and loss of youth. This was my fourth child and there was some part of me that felt I would lose myself completely in the role of mom. It was supposed to be a happy time and my fears felt like they were wrong somehow. Instead I ignored them and resisted a simple change making it more difficult.
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