Research shows there is a subtle slide into invisibility as women hit forty.
- Opinions are less valued.
- Requests are unmet.
- Contributions discounted.
For many it’s time to reassess who you are and what you want. A time to take back your power. It’s also a time when you can come face to face with how much of yourself you’ve given away.
It didn’t happen overnight. Decision by decision, compromise by compromise, bit-by-bit, pushing aside your own hopes and dreams. Until at some point you realize that you’re not fully sure who you are or what you really want anymore.
The vague sense of having an unfinished life hovers. You are aware that decisions are based more on how it will affect your kids, spouse, family, or friends. Somewhere at the end of the list is your wants and needs. There may be some underlying sadness or resentment under the surface.
In all relationship there is compromise. Give and take is a must, but often the balance of giving and receiving is off kilter. The journey back to yourself may not always be easy but it is always worth it.
- It’s shifting back choice by choice to saying yes to yourself.
- Saying yes to what makes you light up.
- Saying yes to what feels great (not just good).
- Saying yes to being a little selfish, because taking good care of your hopes and dreams has a far-reaching impact.
The Hell Yes formula is simple when faced with a choice if it’s not a Hell Yes then it’s a no. It helps me to reframe the no so I remember what I am saying yes to. Starting with smaller items can feel less daunting and give you confidence for those bigger issues.
A small example of this, a few weeks ago my sister Pam and I went to Pasadena for a Kenny Chesney concert. We were going to grab lunch when I spotted some sandals in a shop window. I loved them – colorful, comfy, and a tad quirky, just my style.
I went to lunch and on the way back admired the sandals again, intending to keep walking. They beckoned to me to come in and get acquainted. I slid my foot into the soft leather and it hit me these sandals were a Hell Yes, but they were pricey.
I needed new sandals and had been looking for a few weeks with no luck.
When I looked at what I was saying no to – 2 pairs of okay sandals that each cost half of what these ones did, the Hell Yes pair seemed like a bargain.
In every day life it’s the small day-to-day choices and habits that add up to the bigger ones. Choosing a Hell Yes pair of sandals makes it easier to be firmly planted in your Hell Yes for the bigger decisions.
What can you say Hell Yes to today?
It’s more fun to share the fun, tell me about your Hell Yes in the comments below